Spicey Chicken Cartel: THE SPAM OF KHANFORD

From time to time, I run across something that is so precious that I don't want it to get lost. So, I shamelessly steal it, reformat it, and post it here for posterity. Of course, I get the permission of the original author before doing so -- to do otherwise would be wrong.

So, while on one of the Rant Boards at the MMF Hall of Humiliation, I ran across this little gem contributed by the Hall's own 'Bill, the Roadie -- SCC #73, DNRC Minister of Sufficiently Advanced Technology'. Read, and enjoy.

[Rating: C&C]

INT. U.S.S. BOXSTER BRIDGE

KHANFORD: (ON SCREEN) I make you a counter-proposal. I'll agree to your terms, if... if... in addition to yourself, you hand over to me all data and material regarding the project called SISYPHUS.

(Reactions from PALANTONE and ROADIE)

ROADIE: Sisyphus, what's that?

KHANFORD: Don't insult my intelligence, ROADIE.

ROADIE: Give me some time to recall the data on our computers -

KHANFORD: I give you sixty seconds, Roadie.

(ROADIE turns from the screen -)

ROADIE: Clear the bridge.

PALANTONE: Well, at least we know he doesn't have Sisyphus.

ROADIE: Just keep nodding as though I'm still giving orders. Mister Denise, punch up the Sisyphus Project backups of the Spammy's command console.

DENISE: Spammy's command...

ROADIE: HURRY!

KHANFORD: Forty-five seconds!

PALANTONE: The root password?

ROADIE: It's all we've got.

DENISE: The file's up, sir.

KHANFORD: Roadie!

ROADIE: (to KHANFORD) We're finding it.

KHANFORD: Roadie!!

ROADIE: Please, please - you've got to give us time - The... the site is smashed, the servers inoperative...

KHANFORD: Time is a luxury you don't have, Roadie.

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